Pokemon get pets
by Draconis Kitten Sweetie
Summary: Arceus grants them permission to get pets. them is every single lengendary out there, but Deoxys takes it too far. Rateings may change.
1. Chapter 1

Me: Hiay! I don't know where I got this idea, but I found it so amusing I couldn't resist!

Celebi: Oooooh! This'll be fun!

Mew: YEEEEAAAHOOOOO!

Me: Oh dear Arceus someone gave you sugar, well; I may as well say before I die of Mew's annoying powers, I don't own Pokemon.

*Pokemon*

"YES! I FINALLY DID IT!" Mew cheered and Celebi looked to her friend with a cocked eyebrow. "I finally convinced Arceus to let the legendaries go to the world where animals are and get pets!" Mew said giddy with excitement and Celebi grinned widely and looked at where Arceus was opening a portal humming to himself happily.

"Mew that's awesome! Let's go tell Manaphy!" Celebi said and they dashed off to find Manaphy and tell him the good news. They found him in the ocean just off the coast of Sinnoh (where he usually is) and when they told him Mew teleported everyone to the Hall of Orgins to see that the portal was indeed open and the legendaries were streaming through, all discussing what animal they were going to get with one another.

"Oooooh let's go!" Manaphy yelped excitedly and they dashed through the portal, all but Arceus went through, because Arceus really didn't want a pet. He technically 'owned' them all, I mean, he is god. Sorta.

"Ooooooooh! It's so cute! Celebi heard Mew exclaim as they fell through the portal where humans where in a building inhabited with all sorts of creatures. Mew was looking at what Celebi had looked at on the internet, it was a tiny little Siamese kitten that happened to look a bit like mew, it even had her eyes! But a human was interested in Mew, and screeched and grabbed at her, and she zoomed out of the way and took off with the kitten, already heading back to the Hall of Orgins to look up what to feed it on the computer they had swiped from the humans.

"Well that was fast." Celebi said and grabbed Manaphy, and lazily drifted out of the store to bring him to the sea. His little brother Phione had already beat him there and was following a jellyfish with interest. Manaphy leapt out of her arms and was soon tailing a dolphin happily. Celebi sighed. She couldn't think for the life of her what she wanted! Even Darkrai knew what he wanted. So Celebi traveled all over the world, occasionally opening a portal to a different continent in search of the perfect pet, and then she found it. It was sweet, cute, could fly, and you could have a somewhat intelligent conversation with it (if it learned to talk) Celebi had picked a Blue Front Amazon Parrot. It was like 5 years old but it was adorable! So she snatched it up and went back to her dimension.

When she got back she noticed the portal closed, so it seemed she was the last one through… hehe… oops…

"Now that Celebi is back I think we should all go up to the podium (a podium randomly appears) and say what animal we got! And if you named it you may share that as well." Arceus deemed and Moltres flew up to the podium and showed them a very big, very long-necked bird, as did Ho-oh.

"This is an ostrich! We got it because it can run fast and it can fly around with us!" They deemed happily and Arceus sweat-dropped anime style.

"Ummm… Ostriches can't fly…" he said and Moltres and Ho-oh looked stricken, and walked off the podium in despair. Everyone looked sympathetic, but it was quite obvious they were rolling on the floor laughing mentally.

Now Articuno and Lugia flew up happily and showed off their black and white birds with quite weird wings that looked more like flippers.

"This is a penguin! See it's glossy wings, I can show them off as I FLY everywhere with it!" they boasted and Arceus sweat-dropped once again.

"Penguins can't fly either." He said and they walked off the podium and everyone just burst out laughing. Now Zapdose flew up, and much to the other legendary bird's despair, he had a cute tiny black and yellow bird flying next to his head chirping happily.

"This is my canary! Her name is Airborne, which I just came up with." Zapdose said and he laughed as the other legendary birds glared at him hatefully. Then he flew off and mew took the stage, and everyone groaned, expecting a long speech.

"This is my Siamese Kitten who I named Blue eyes and he's adorable and I love him and he's so fluffy and-" Mew was cut off as Arceus shushed her and Mewtwo went up before she could protest. He had what looked like a very big cat and had what looked like the beginnings of a full head beard.

"This is a lion. I have named him Simba." He said and walked off. Suicune leapt up followed closely by what looked like lot's of puff-balls stuck together to form a black moving puff-ball.

"This is a labrodoodle. It is a dog, and I have named it Brady." She said and walked down and Raikou hopped up by a tiny (very soft) looking animal that resembled a labrodoodle a bit. It was golden and had tiny little teeth.

"This is my Golden Retriever puppy and he's going to be called Sam." She said and leapt off. Entei followed closely after and had what looked like a rat.

"This is a Chihuahua. He is mine and his name be El Feugo!" Entei said delighted and everyone started roaring with laughter. To think Entei would get such a tiny dog and name it such a silly name! Of course this noise frightened El Feugo and he started growling and leapt on Dialga, who was promptly mauled. Everyone gained a new respect for Chihuahua's that day.

Up next came the Regi's, who apparently decided to get one to share. They had what looked like a green, tiny, Squirtle and it moved very slowly.

"This is a turtle, and if you laugh, he will become like El Feugo in an instant." They said and Arceus snorted. Of course he was the only one that knew that that turtle wouldn't be able to catch them, much less maul them. Everyone else parted so the turtle wouldn't get them. Then Celebi realized she hadn't gone up yet and zoomed ahead of the feuding Groundon and Kyogre. The parrot rested on her shoulder and was chattering mindlessly, mostly about politics.

"This is my- stop that will you? I am trying to talk!" she said scolding the parrot who apologized and stayed quite. "This is my Blue-Front Amazon parrot! I have named her Baby, for that is what she called me when she first saw me." Celebi said and the parrot snorted.

"Liar! I said you looked like a deformed parrot baby!" baby said and everyone just started crying in laughter. Celebi got off the stand feuding with her parrot. Groundon had finally bribed Kyogre into letting him go first so he went up on stage happily with what looked like a lion but was orange with black stripes.

"This is my tiger! I named him stripes!" he said happily and Mewtwo snorted.

"Original much?" Mewtwo grumbled and Groundon pouted and brought Stripes off stage. Kyogre got up on stage and showed them an animal that looked very much like a Wailord.

"This is a whale. His name is Norm." she said and Rayquaza pushed them off stage and brought out a line like animal that had no arms or legs.

"This is my Boa Constrictor. Her name is Lucy!" She said happily and they were then blasted off stage by Kyorge's hydro Pump and Arceus calmed them down relatively fast. They can't really harm each other knocked out cold. Deoxys came up hesitantly and showed them a human child. It was a baby, like only a month old, and everyone gasped and uproar started.

"DEOXYS EXPLAIN YOURSELF!" Arceus screeched and everyone quieted. When Arceus shouts, they KNOW it was a mistake. Deoxys floated leisurely over cradling the child and they got into an argument. Nobody said a word, not even the parrot, as they waited for Arceus's verdict.

*Pokemon*

Me: This actually wasn't supposed to be a chapter story, but I was so over-whelmed with the story ideas that I had to!

Celebi: You are such a failure.

Baby: Look who's talking!

Celebi: HEY!

Baby: Ya, that's right, I OWN YOU.

Celebi: Actually no, you don't. You are MY pet.

Baby: *hangs head and shame and walks away in defeat*


	2. Chapter 2

Me: I know I haven't updated in forever, but I've been reading the best fanfiction ever called Pedestal by Digit Skitty, also about Pokemon, and it was reeeaaally long and I wasn't going to update until I finished it, and now I have. Then I looked to see which was most popular and this was second so I'm now updating it, but what I find surprising is-

Baby: No one cares just get on with the story!

Celebi: BABY! Bad! You're so mean!

Baby: What are you gonna do about it?

Celebi: *thinks* If you don't shut up I'll tell people what you really said to me when we met!

Baby: NOOOO! I ALREADY SAID I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WHERE A CHICK TOO!

Celebi: I just owned you!

Baby: *silent*

Mew: I WANNA SAY THE DISCLAIMER!

Arceus: Draconis Kitten Sweetie does not own Pokemon, and if she said so she would face my wrath!

Mew: Awww! Arceus!

Me: *gulp*

*Pokemon*

"Deoxys how DARE you take a human child! We are not to do such horrendous crimes! You will return the child at once!" Arceus boomed and Deoxys frowned rather bravely.

"I did not take, I uhhhh… ok well I took but it was at a foster home and I figured if it was there no one wanted it!" Deoxys protested and Arceus hissed at him and his eyes grew red. Uhhhh, not a good sign.

"Return it now. I am opening another portal and you are to return that child. Right, Now." Arceus hissed and the room flashed red and everyone screamed everyone but Groundon who was always seeing things in red.

"But-!" Deoxys started, but Arceus finished the portal and pushed him through it groaning.

"Now that that is over, why don't you come to the stand Mespirit, Uxie, and Azelf?" Arceus said and they nervously looked to each other and brought their pets up, all looking scarily humanish.

"These are monkeys! They are supposedly humans ancestors, or so taught Charles Darwin, but we all know Arceus made everything," Said Pokemon beamed at them all, making them sweat-drop, "and their names are John, Jack, and Jim." They said and everyone proceeded to try to say those three names three times fast, but failed epically. As everyone was trying to say those names Dialga and Palkia fought over who would advance, and it ended with Dialga freezing Palkia in time and going up himself, leading a strange, Treecko looking thing, only it was brown and black.

"This is what is called a Bearded Dragon, his name is Draconis with the middle name of Kitten and the last name Pokemon." He said and everyone cocked their heads at such a long name and Dialga sighed. "Just call him Draco. It's Latin for Dragon" He explained and everyone seemed happy with that answer and Palkia grumpily got on stage cursing Dialga and Arceus calling out, "Watch your language!"

"This is called an Iguana, also a lizard like a Bearded Dragon, and his name is Kevin. Just Kevin." Palkia said, scooped up Kevin and marched off the podium.

Latias and Latios zoomed up carrying extremely different animals up. Latios's looked like a Liepard but was tan and had black/brown spots. Latias's looked so much like a Girafarig it was scary. It also had the funny brown/black spots.

"This is my new pet, it's called a giraffe. I'm going to go confuse a couple Girafarig now." Latias said mischievously and was gone before Arceus could stop here.

"Unlike my sister," Latios began, "I shall not use my pet for evil deeds. It's called a Cheetah and I shall race with it on the bike path in Kanto, because in the human and animal world, it is fastest." Latios said and raced off stage like his sister.

"O.K. then? Next?" Arceus called out in confusion and Manaphy and Phione eagerly run up holding their respective dolphin and jellyfish. They both started talking at the same time. Then started laughing and tried again, at the same time, then broke down in tears of joy, acting like the children they are. Celebi sighed and floated up and grabbed the dolphin above Manaphy.

"This is Manaphy's dolphin who he named skipper." She then floated over to Phione's jellyfish and held it above his head. "This is Phione's jellyfish named Squishy. They both happened to tell me…" Celebi said and dragged them off stage as everyone sweat-dropped.

"Okay then, next?" Arceus asked then stopped and looked in puzzlement at everyone, who was gaping at something behind him. "What, what is it?" he said and turned around, and then like everyone else, stared like a moonstruck rabbit at the portal opening behind him.

*Pokemon*

Me: CLIIIIIIIIIFFYYYYYYYY!

Baby: I have been instructed that if I have nothing nice to say to not say anything at all…


	3. Chapter 3

Me: I'm really sorry I took o long to update, but I ran out of ideas for this story. But I'm back and this story is finally going to end within 1 or 2 chapters!

Celebi: And it was originally going to be a one-shot…

Me: Hush.

Mew: DRACONIS KITTEN SWEETIEA DOESN'T OWN POKEMON! HAHAHAHAHAHA, I SAID IT!

Me and Celebi: Uhmmmm…

*Pokemon*

"Palkia," Arceus said and looked to the Spatial Pokemon accusingly. "Is this your doing?" Palkia quickly shook her head in a panic. Arceus looked to Girantina, who quickly shook his head. He was about to line everyone up and interrogate them, when a little human baby crawled through the portal and over to Deoxys.

"Deoxys." Arceus said too calmly to actually be calm. "Explain yourself."

"I don't… I didn't…" Deoxys tried to talk, but his words failed him.

"What. Did. You. Do." Arceus asked (more like murdered him with words) and Deoxys picked up the little baby boy.

"I didn't do anything!" Deoxys said and Jirachi floated in sleepily.

"What's going on?" He asked tiredly and Arceus raised an eyebrow at him.

"I thought you've been in here." He said and Jirachi shook his head. "But I sent Deoxys in to wake you up!"

"Yeah, he did… And I was getting up… But then I… I don't know, I think I accidentally granted a wish…" he said and Deoxys literally felt as if he had been injected with ice-type DNA.

"What did you say?" He asked and Arceus turned to him.

"What, now you're afraid?" He asked and Deoxys just looked at the child in his arms.

"While… While I was waking him up… I left the room and mumbled that I wished I could have the kid back… I think Jirachi heard me on accident…" Deoxys whispered and Arceus's eyes opened so wide Shaymin could probably squeeze into them.

"You did not." He said and Deoxys numbly nodded.

"Well… I guess you have to keep him." Arceus said and Deoxys looked up at Arceus. He did not like what he saw. Arceus was glaring at him, eyes literally red as blood.

"But Deoxys, if you ever do anything like this again, I will kill you." He said and Deoxys watched wide-eyed as Arceus walked back over to the podium. Deoxys left for his room with the little nameless child and everyone watched as Arceus took his place next to the podium.

"Well, who's next?" he asked irritated and the room turned into a buzz of 'You go first!' 'No, you go first!' Until Darkrai grouchily went up so everyone would shut up.

He brought up a dog-looking animal that looked to big and powerful to be an animal.

"This is a wolf. I have named him shadow. Now I'm going to get off this podium, and if someone else does not come quietly, I will honestly bind up and gag one of you and shove you up there." He snarled and got off of the podium. Everyone nervously shoved Shaymin up (poor girl was the smallest and easiest).

She brought up what looked like a Sandslash but smaller and tinnier needles.

"This is a hedgehog," she said and everyone looked at its back worried. "It won't hurt you, but you may not want to touch his back. He informed me his name is Spike." She said and started making odd noises to it, to which it responded. Everyone sweat-dropped.

"Did you know she could do that?" Mew whispered to Celebi, to which Celebi shook her head.

Shaymin got off the podium, still conversing with Spike. Everyone nervously looked to each other, Darkrai's threat still hovering over them. Jirachi eventually drifted up with something that looked like a bigger version of El Feugo.

"This is Nipper. She's a Fennec Fox." Jirachi explained and Mew cocked her head.

"Why is her name Nipper?" She asked, when Mewtwo floated up to her a little too closely, and she bit him. He started swearing and almost shadow-ball'd her into next Tuesday, when Arceus knocked him out.

"We do not kill other legendaries pets!" He hissed and Mewtwo's unconscious form was floated away by Uxie.

Cresselia replaced Jirachi and brought up a Swanna looking animal with snow-white wings.

"This is my swan, and his name is Devon." She explained and Articuno almost asked something, until Cresselia cut her off. "Yes, he can fly."

Everyone turned to Girantina, who still had not presented. He trudged up on stage and a very small Pachirisu looking thing climbed off of him onto the ground. Heatran was hiding on the ceiling, relishing on the fact no one saw him, and Regigigas was playing with the other Regi's turtle, even if he was too lazy to claim it as part his when they announced it.

"This is a Chipmunk," he said shame-facedly and everyone burst out laughing. He tried to escape off stage, when everyone asked the dreaded question.

"What's his name?"

Girantina looked over at Arceus, who smirked at him and motioned for him to continue.

"…Munchers"

*Pokemon*

Meanwhile, everyone from Kanto to Sinnoh (I don't feel like including Unova) was asking the same question…

"You hear the laughing too, right?"

*Pokemon*

Me: I honestly couldn't think of a better ending. I may or may not ad another chapter.

Girantina: … I hate you… I honestly do…

Me: Awww, I feel so accomplished!


	4. Chapter 4

Me: Yup, I did add another chapter! Though it's going to be really short, shorter than even the other chapters. Who wants to do the disclaimer?

Munchers: *really high squeaky voice* Draconis Kitten Sweetie doesn't own Pokemon!

Girantina: *cooing at his adorable chipmunk*

Everyone else: *bursts out in hysterical laughter*

Girantina: *goes to hide in the reverse world*

*Pokemon*

So after Girantina went up, everyone had to evacuate the hall, seeing as they were either passing out due to laughing so hard or had wet themselves (most of them didn't even notice until Groundon did. Deoxys was stuck mopping the place up), and couldn't return until the next day. Everyone still laughed at Girantina, but he was already hiding in the reverse world with no intention of ever coming out again. Eventually they convinced (black-mailed and threatened) Heatran into going up on stage and formally declaring that the gecko was his and his name was Grek. Regigigas was forced into admitting that he shared the turtle with the other Regi's (Mew wouldn't shut up about it).

And of course, poor Arceus was proved wrong. When he hadn't listened to the Regi's threats of their turtle being deadly, he was sadly mistaken.

"Hi little guy…" He said, petting the nameless turtles back. He had tried so hard to get the Regi's to name him, but they just kept calling him turtle, so they were stuck with a turtle named turtle. The turtle was used to the Regi's, not Arceus. When Arceus's paw got to close to the turtle's mouth… Arceus found out the hard way that the Regi's had (of course) gotten, a snapping turtle.

"YOU LITTLE SON OF A-" Arceus screamed when Shaymin ran into the room, laughing gleefully as Spike chased her, then stopped to watch Arceus who was debating whether or not to vaporize the turtle or spare poor Shaymin's virgin ears and eyes.

"Son of a what?" Shaymin asked all too innocently as the turtle finally let go and Arceus cussed at it mentally.

"Uhm… Son of a gun! It's what you call mean Pokemon, er, animals. Or humans, but…" Arceus said, over explaining himself as Shaymin ran away bored.

Poor Squirtle's, your own creator now has a grudge against all the turtle Pokemon.

*Pokemon*

Me: This was pretty much just a time-killer of an epilogue. It was really fun to write though.

Arceus: *secretly plotting the demise of any and all things turtle*

Me: I might make a sequel, but it would be a bit less humorous and more… Psychotic… You think I should?


End file.
